A Reader Said (2)
A reader emailed me to say that she feels guilty if she doesn't spend time with the narcissist in her family.
No. That's what narcissists trade on. They use your loyalty to keep you trapped in their web. And that not only does you no good, it doesn't help them either.
Because the only hope for the narcissist is that one day, as he surveys the smoking wreckage of his "superior" life while simultaneously seeing all the "lesser" people out there having fun, he finally comes to his senses and says "I think it's me!".
But he will NEVER arrive at that conclusion for as long as we continue to play his game. We have to call time and let him know we're not interested until he learns to play like an adult.
Sound a bit childlike? You bet. Because narcissists are essentially children that never grew up. That's not being mean, that's what the literature says. For whatever reason, they didn't develop. Sad, but again, it's something only they can fix.
Enter their world at your peril.